The day I found out I was pregnant was not the happy occasion I had imagined. In my head I’d formed a picture of myself emerging from the bathroom holding the stick I’d recently peed on aloft and throwing my arms around my husband (carefully avoiding dripping pee down the back of his neck.)
What actually happened was that I’d been in agony for 24hrs and had decided to do a test just to rule it out. “There’s no way I could be pregnant,” I said as I ran a bath to ease the pain, “but if I am I promise I’ll go to A&E.”
My husband’s face three minutes later almost broke my heart. “I’m losing a baby,” I thought. “I’m going to lose a Fallopian tube. I’m never going to have a baby.”
And then I got in the bath.
BabyDaddy rang my Mum and she said she’d come and take us to hospital. In the meantime I suddenly needed to wash, dry and straighten my hair. Eventually I got in the car and sobbed.
A lot of waiting and being prodded later I was in an ambulance being rushed to the nearest city with a suspected ectopic pregnancy. In the early hours of the morning a gynaecologist told me everything seemed fine & that I’d be having a scan within the next couple of days.
On the way home my Mum told me she was getting excited & I felt as though I had permission to be excited too. I was having a baby and I was sure he, because I was certain he was a he, was going to be fine.
Unfortunately that wasn’t the only time we found ourselves crying in hospital thinking our little guy was leaving us, but eleven days after his due date Ted arrived and I’ve been thankful every day since that he was such a little fighter.