The ‘One Born Every Minute’ and Netmums people have teamed up to make sure we bloggers occasionally write something coherent, and their first challenge is for us to talk about Dads.
I’m a really lucky BabyMummy as my gorgeous husband worships Ted and wants to be involved in absolutely everything. That need to protect and nurture his baby boy started the minute we found out he existed, and was probably heightened because we discovered him at a time when we immediately thought we might be losing him.
When I spent Christmas and new year bleeding and sobbing it was BabyDaddy who held me up & allowed me to believe that it would be okay. He told me our boy was a fighter and he was right. Ted was a strong, healthy and sturdy boy when he was born and BabyDaddy was amazing at telling me that was because I took such good care of him while he was still my bump.
I was worried that he’d find the birth difficult to deal with as he’d have to see me in pain, but he was actually strong, supportive and uncharacteristically assertive. When I was told to wait another hour before starting the one hour journey to hospital he knew I couldn’t wait that long and bustled me into the car; when I was wheeled into the midwife-led delivery ward and not the consultant-led suite he reminded them of my epilepsy; when the doctor butchered my wrist with a cannula and then left the tourniquet on BabyDaddy helped the midwife hurry him out of the room with a warning not to touch me again; when Ted’s head emerged BabyDaddy was the first to see him & also the one who had to find the midwife; when there was no resusc trolley BabyDaddy was the one shouting for someone to find one.
In everyday life BabyDaddy is so mild-mannered and compliant that this new empowered tyrant of a man surprised me. Since then he’s continued to surprise me.
After Ted had been placed in my arms BabyDaddy told me how proud of me he was & talked about our beautiful boy to distract me from the injections to stop me bleeding and the tugging as the midwife tried to get the placenta out. He told me what they were doing when Ted was placed on the trolley out of my sight & made sure I knew he was safe when they thought he had an infection. When I had to go to theatre to have my third-degree tear repaired he held our tiny boy for the full hour and told him the same story he’d told my bump every night.
When we came home he told guests when it was time to leave. He shared the night-feeds by talking to me & making me cups of tea to keep me awake as I nursed. He changed nappies and checked my stitches and told me how well I was doing. He sterilised bottles and told me it wasn’t a failure to have to stop breast-feeding. He mopped up my tears, and Ted’s.
He doubts his own abilities as a dad sometimes and he asks me what to do often, but in his heart he knows that anything he does is right because he’s doing it for Ted.
He still tells me how great I was when I gave birth to our son and he talks about that day with such pride: in Ted and in me.
My gorgeous husband, Ted’s amazing Daddy, thinks he didn’t do anything when I was giving birth. Actually he did exactly what I needed without being told: he stayed quiet and he let me get on with it.
I couldn’t ask for more.
One Born Every Minute is on Wednesday nights from 4th Jan, 9pm, Channel 4
To join in the challenge head to NetMums and Tweet @netmums & @c4OneBorn.