Four weeks ago I applied for a new job. I wasn’t looking for a new job but when BabyDaddy saw an advert for a part-time Psychology teacher in our home town it seemed a shame not to give it a try. There were lots of reasons not to bother – not least that I’m not technically qualified to teach in a school – but as I was fairly sure I wouldn’t get it I thought it might be a good opportunity to have my first teaching interview without the pressure of desperately wanting the job.
Three weeks ago I had the interview. I was in a state in the couple of days before and had to convince myself to actually go through with it, but in the end I thought it’d be a shame to look back and wonder “what if?” instead of just being able to learn from the experience. I couldn’t decide whether it would be a good thing to find out what the interview process would be like or whether it would just knock my confidence if I interviewed for a job I didn’t get.
Two weeks ago I started the job. They offered it to me on the spot and as the lessons they needed covering were on Thursdays and Fridays I was able to accept and keep my other job.
It’s been difficult for lots of reasons – mainly that it’s part of the way through the year, only weeks from their exams, and I hadn’t used this syllabus before – and I’ve struggled over the last couple of weeks. I’ve felt completely overwhelmed if I’m completely honest. I’ve been planning lessons, catching up on the syllabus, going to my regular job, looking after Ted, preparing for a lesson observation, and trying to cope with some health problems. I’m muddling through this new period of my life on pain killers that make my head fuzzy, and I’m a hormonal wreck.
I haven’t had much time to blog throughout this chaos but I had been planning to write an entry about how it felt to go from wanting to stay at home with Ted permanently to going back to work part-time and then taking on a second job, but what I’ve found myself wanting to write instead is how grateful I am to a couple of people who have helped.
BabyDaddy has been an absolute rock. Not only did he find the job in the first place but he convinced me to go for it and reassured me that I was a good teacher when I doubted myself. Since then he’s taken on the lion’s share of housework and childcare while I’ve worked constantly on planning and preparing lessons, and he’s put up with my tears of frustration, fear and fatigue with grace.
A couple of nights ago, though, BabyDaddy was poorly and I was feeling really low. He was in bed and I was sitting downstairs with everything I needed for my lesson observation in front of me waiting for me to pull it into some sort of order. When I found that I’d been sitting staring at a blank wall in tears for half an hour I realised I needed to do something, but in that usual not-wanting-to-worry-anyone way I didn’t know what to do.
Luckily, that’s where my lovely blogging-Mummy friends came into it. Rhiannon and Natalie were great on Twitter, telling me they understood and giving me the option to talk, and then checking in on me again in the morning. I’m so grateful to them both for being there.
And I have to say a big big thank you to Corinne for giving me practical advice, simple steps to follow, and getting me to breathe again. Thanks to her I managed to get my work finished in time to watch Fresh Meat with a cup of tea. I went to bed feeling calm and actually slept for the first time since I started my new job.
There have been so many unexpected positives to blogging (and the occasional negative too) but the fact that writing a blog has put me in touch with people I never would have met otherwise and who have made such a big difference is worth documenting. When I started writing Stitches & Stretchmarks I was just hoping to be able to help other women. I never expected to meet so many other women who would help me so much.
There are many more bloggers out there who have made me smile when I’ve needed it, or who have made me cry as I’ve read their most honest and open posts, and who have made the world seem a little bit brighter. It’s been too long since I wrote a blog-love post to share my favourites and I’ll do that again soon. But right now my blog-love goes to Corinne, and yours should too.