This has been such a long week.
I had a whole day of what felt like the build up to labour, then a night that convinced me baby was coming – enough to get systems put in place for Ted, including full-time nursery this week – and then two days of stop-start symptoms, then nothing.
Having been convinced I was meeting my boy I then spent a full day in tears. It was such a rollercoaster of emotions but I’ve accepted now that it’s just not time yet.
Unfortunately I had a couple of days of reduced movements after the contractions stopped so I had to go and be monitored for a while. This was the exciting view from my window once I made it in for assessment. I had to go straight from
the midwife to hospital, which meant a train and a bus, and then when I got there it turned out that the assessment ward was full so there was a long wait, but knowing I was checking up on baby made it seem less of a problem than I expected.
Once I got into a bed and then strapped up to the monitors the time flew by. There’s nothing more reassuring than half an hour listening to baby’s heartbeat.
Eventually we were all reassured that he was happy. His head’s engaged and the pain in my pelvis suggests that he’s not too far off, but I’m trying to accept that he might be late like his brother so I’m not just waiting around.
Today BabyDaddy’s not at work and Ted’s in nursery so we’re going to try to get some last preparations done before chaos hits us. I’m seeing my doctor to stock up on epilepsy medication for after the birth so I’ve arranged to meet a friend and her baby while I’m in town. I’m looking forward to seeing her and reminding myself that it’ll all be worth it when I see my boy. Sometimes it’s too easy to get caught up in the medical side of things and forget that it’s a baby, not just a process.
It won’t be long now.