The truth about second babies

There were so many things I was scared of when I was expecting Ben but the reality of having a second baby is vastly different.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

* the “my newborn’s so beautiful” feeling you remember from last time (which you only realise was a blinkered view of your wrinkled purple goblin-child months later) disappears. You know your baby’s funny-looking but he’ll “grow into his ears”;
* after-pains make you wonder if you’re about to deliver a twin. Weeks later. And it might be less painful if you were;

* the health visitors don’t bother asking you how many wet nappies baby’s having this time around. They know you don’t change them if they’re not falling apart or full of poo;

* changing sleepsuits every time they spit up is a thing of the past. If they’re not going to get sore and they don’t stink they’ll be alright;

* the tv is no longer an occasional treat or an educational tool but an essential distraction for feeding/changing/breakdowns;

* you spend more time devoting attention to your toddler than you ever did when he was an only child in case he resents the baby for taking you away. But he hasn’t really noticed;
* vomit on your clothes isn’t a disaster anymore. It’s not even an inconvenience because you’ve become immune to it. You can’t even see it;

* you no longer slowly bend your baby’s arms into vests. You know they won’t break and they’ll scream less if they’re warm than if you get them into crazy yoga positions;

* you no longer care about what you should do or how your baby should be behaving. Not because you’ve gained a world of experience and wisdom but because you just don’t have the time – or energy – to think about;

* “sleep when the baby sleeps” isn’t a helpful piece of advice anymore but a frustrating fantasy;

* unlike baby number one, where sleep and books and baths still existed, if you’re not feeding, changing or pacifying the baby or feeding, changing or pacifying the toddler you’re cooking, cleaning or crying;

* no matter how scared you are that you can’t cope, or that you’re not good enough, you will and you are;

* having two kids is exhausting, terrifying, frustrating, headache-inducing, maddening and truly truly wonderful.


About Stitches and Stretchmarks

Honest and frank Mum of one.
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2 Responses to The truth about second babies

  1. Your two little ones are truly beautiful. I guess the same piece of advice given to first-time moms stands true even when you’re on baby #2, 3 or 4 “things will never be the same”.

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