We’re a week in to 2014 now and I haven’t written a standard Happy New Year blog because, quite frankly, I think the whole thing is a load of rubbish. To me New Year’s Eve is just a night filled with frustration as booming fireworks risk waking my boys.
However, January the 1st did mark three months of baby Ben being with us and, just as was the case with his brother, we decided to make the transition from carry cot in our room to cot in his own room. This is a whole three months earlier than recommended but as the makers of two big babies and the occupant of a small bedroom there hasn’t been a choice. Ben, like Ted at this age, is just simply too big for his carry cot. Our room is, unfortunately, too small for a cot. Let’s not mention how much my
snoring sleep noises disturb Ben and concentrate on his size. He’s big.
We didn’t actually make the move until the 5th because Ben’s room had become a
dumping ground storage room for all kinds of crap useful stuff. My mum offered to take both of the boys for a walk on Sunday so we attacked that room in a frenzied state and by evening it was ready to go.
We haven’t managed to get Ben in to the same great routine we had (and still have) with Ted – bath, bottle, bed – because it turns out having two small children is a real juggling act. I know! So we organised a military-precision tag-team operation in which we took a child each, shared their bath water, timed their storytimes around screaming and got both of them down and asleep by 7.30pm. It was amazing. We watched TV together and ate dinner. Okay, so Ben got up pretty soon afterwards but he was really chilled out and when he did go back to bed he slept really well, only waking for one feed and the sleeping until 6.30am. Success!
Unfortunately Ted didn’t have the same great night as he was sick at 3.30 and we had to rush around cleaning sheets and pyjamas, giving extended cuddles and soothing him back to sleep.
Last night Ted was very poorly and our new “routine” (I’m sticking with that word even though it hasn’t even started yet. It makes me feel better) was abandoned in favour of baths and changes of clothes and cleaning the sofa. Ted then slept really well but Ben was the most unsettled he’s been in a long time.
Sometimes it feels like life will never settle down and that this chaos is just the way it is now – and perhaps to an extent that’s true – but I think back to the first weeks with Ben where I just didn’t know how I was supposed to do everything for each of them and I realise that things are settling but that it’s not always easy to see from the inside.
When they’re both crying, or I’m having to race to stop Ted poking Ben in the eye, or Ben’s shriek scares Ted and he runs away in fear, it can feel like the world has stopped turning and I’m trapped in that moment. The clock doesn’t seem to change sometimes.
Then one of them will quieten down, or Ted will gently stroke Ben’s face, or Ben will grin as he watches Ted play, and it seems like there will never be enough time to just watch them before they grow up, and I won’t have enough memories of their time as babies.
Then the screaming starts again and I’m sure I’ll never forget.